I wanted to write a wall of sensible text... but it is no good that way. Instead I tell you a story:
Kenshi is a delicious -bees-. And Chris is the famous cook we all love, because he makes this delicious -bees-. He also has a magnificent beard (but this belongs in another story).
One day, a stranger walked into the Lo-Fi restaurant, ordered Kenshi -bees- and ate it. He loved it too. So he went into the kitchen, to congratulate Chris on his delicious -bees-. But in the kitchen he saw, that Chris does very strange things to the -bees-. "Very unorthodox", the stranger thought.
Since the stranger is a cook too, he suggested using a modern microwave, instead of the dusty old stove, that Chris is using to bake his -bees-. "The -bees- will be more flexible and will taste even more delicious, if you use the microwave", he claimed. "Also, baking the -bees- like that, only takes a fraction of the current time", he assured.
Chris was baffeled. He never used the microwave before for baking -bees-. He normally uses it to warm up some water for his grog. Alas, baking a -bees- in the microwave sounds nice at first, but the Kenshi -bees- is too big for the microwave. "I have to alter the size of the -bees-, so it fits into the microwave", he thought. Also, Kenshi -bees- usually has the fork right baked into the -bees-, so it is easier to eat for the guests. Since it is sticking out, that too represents a size problem.
So he closed the restaurant for several days, so he could figure out, how to make the -bees- fit the microwave. He eventually did it and came up with a way to stuff all the -bees- into the machine, including the fork. On reopening night, he started baking -bees- in the microwaves (he bought a few in the meantime). What he did not realize though was, that you should not have metal objects in the microwave, when turning it on! Oh the horror!
Lo-Fi restaurant burned to the ground, as microwaves were expoding left and right and setting the kitchen on fire. That was the day, the Kenshi -bees- recipe was lost and forgotten, as Chris died in the fire. All they found in the rubble the next day, was his mighty beard.
The end!
PS: Welcome to the boards, dear stranger. I hope you see wisdom in this story. Stay at Lo-Fi to enjoy the -bees- with us.

Edit and PPS: Whoever is responsible for replacing -bees- with -*CENSORED*-; I will find you!
