warhammer 40k ork

[iSuck345]

I can't believe I am doing this but here goes nothing... I will present a number of options, you can add any (as long as they aren't offensive or anything like that), however you can't add more than 5. This will be a "democracy", meaning if most players want choose option the ork will choose to do that action.

WARNING: ORK ARMOUR, WEAPONS AND EVERYTHING ELSE IS UNPREDICTABLE! MANY WEAPONS MAY EXPLODE IN YOUR FACE BY CHANCE, PLEASE GO TO THE LEXICANUM IF YOU DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT ORKS TO SO THEN YOU KNOW MORE ABOUT THE RACE AND PREVENT FROM HAVING ACCIDENTS HAPPEN!

Starting now...

You are a Warboss simply known as the Beast, you are bigger and smarter than everyone and you have united an entire ork solar system under your command. You have slayn entire regiments of the imperial guard and collected many skulls for your "pointy stik"... just kidding! You're an ork like all the other low orks, you bully gretchins, grots and everything else that is lower than you and you are bullied by everything and everyone else that is superior to you. You are in a solar system on which EVERY planet has orks that are divided into hundreds of tribes, yours couldn't even kill an eldar guardian and the last guardsman you saw made fun of your intelligence, strengh, your tribe, your ancestors, your warboss, your race and Gork and Mork. However, your boss has gathered many orks into a quantity never seen: 50000, and right now you are with the others atacking an imperial fort. You have a slugga, a slugga, armour plates in your shoulders, knees and your stomach. You see some warbuggies, wartraks, wartruks and deff dreads charging, along with some skarboys and choppas. The shootas are walking closer to the enemy and dropping like flies. A deffkopta crashes and the imperial artillery is raining hell upon everything. It seems that it's as powerful as allways. You have to atack, but you could also wait for the enemy to charge. What will you do?

A) Charge at the bunker
B) Shoot along the shoota boys
C) Wait for the enemy to start coming
D) Sneak inside the enemy lines
E) Get near the mekboy who is about to activate his shield
F) Switch all your gear for a 'uge choppa
G) Switch your slugga for a shoota

[islesofurth]

if im trying to stay alive, well im attacking a fort so they are not going to come out and charge me.
In that case id wait and either my boss wont have an army to attack with anymore or the enemy will be forced into attacking and leaving the safety of their fort.

But then im a stupid Ork so its more likely that i would simply charge because i took offence from the smallest thing.

[iSuck345]

I'm just going to conclude that you choose wait. As you wait, you see a baneblade with a blood raven space marine. He is no other than captain Diomedes of the Blood Ravens. The Blood Ravens had to realocate all survivors including the ones of Meridian to this sector becase another Tyranid Hive Fleet was coming, and because of that they had to evacuate the entire sub-sector and call an exterminatus on all planets. They arrived and saw they did not just had much to do to make this sub-sector their home but they could make up for the rebellion of their brothers by exterminating all xenos, heretics and daemons of this sub-sector. It's surprising that the Inquisition hasn't notticed the great presence of Chaos, the great quantity of ork tribes, the presence of an eldar craftworld and the coming of a tyranid hive fleet... yet. The baneblade seems to have been modified heavely and to be much bigger, maybe even being a new type of tank. It's two canons fire and the multi-lasers haven't stopped firing yet. As your forces pull back as soon as the baneblade arrives, the mekboy dies and the bikerboys are shot off their bikes, captain Diomedes says "It is the BEEHNBLAEED!!!". The Imperial guardsmen immediatly charge and leave their flanks exposed. You see a dead flash gitz with a spazz gun and a shoota boy with a big shoota. However you could just forget about them and go foward, but there's a commissar with a robotic eye that might notice you. After, for the first time in your short and miserable life, you calm down, think and give a better examination to your surroundings, you decide to:

A) Rush for the spazz gun
B) Rush for the big shoota
C) Grab the big choppa that is next to you and drop the slugga and the copppa
D) Drop the slugga for the shotgun of the ork Kommando, paint yourself with the pain he had in his backpack, switch your armour for the camouflage of the Kommando and take the rokkit of the Kommando
E) Switch your slugga for the rokkit launcha
F) Keep waiting
G) Go through the jungle to catch the imperial guard off their guards
H) Look for a distraction
I) Atack the charging guardsmen from their backs
J) Rush for the bike of the dead bikerboy
K) Rush for the burna of the burna boy and his mask and fuel tank
L) Rush for the shield of the 'ard boy

[islesofurth]

hmmm seems im not going to avoid this great battle.
Look for a distraction, maybe i can gain some advantage without becoming a prime target.

[iSuck345]

You look for a distraction, then you see some weird red barrels. Red goes faster, and you think they must be planning to throw thoose barrels faster to so then your orks don't have time to react! You immediatly shoot an entire slugga clip of 15 bullets. Everyone ducks, scared as hell and when it ends they are all still alive. A guardsman says: "Did... did they all miss?". They all are about to laugh but aren't fast enough because you just finished reloading and finally hit the barrel. It explodes, which makes other barrels inside a bunker explode. There was also a watchtower with a ratling sniper inside. It falls due to the explosion and the ratling dies. The guardsmen and the commissar are dead. However you've brought atention from the baneblade, the charging guardsmen and captain Diomedes. He immediatly uses his radio and says something. Drop pods are falling from the sky on your fellow orks... OK they allways stole your stuff and you killed them in return maybe not fellow. However, other ork tribes have arrived and are assaulting. Unfortunately you hate them all. Due to the great amount of orks present which was predicted by the Blood Ravens, a Reaver class titan has been called. It has a rocket battery on top of it and switched one of it's autocanon arms for one that fires a powerful laser. You...

A) Run into the jungle and GET THE HELL AWAY FROM THAT MECHANICAL ABOMINATION
B) Rush for the rokkit launcha
C) Aim for Diomedes' head and shoot it
D) Grab a lasgun with a strange modification you've never seen
E) Take cover somewhere
F) Make the orks somehow shift their atention to the mechanical abomination

[skynet464]

GET TO THE LAUNCHA

[Blxz]

[toaster Assassin]

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[Blxz]

[islesofurth]

[iSuck345]

I'm sorry I got distracted, what did you choose again?

[toaster Assassin]

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[Blxz]

I don't get it?

[toaster Assassin]

SNL Celebrity jeopardy.


I was going to use better quotes, but I did not want to taint the minds of the forum-goers
Just look up SNL Sean Connery quotes on Google images or watch this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1SvsOWQ ... I2uhHtQV3s

[iSuck345]

Ok are we still playing this forum game or not?

[Blxz]

Waiting for you to update. Until then, expect more pictures.

[iSuck345]

Well since you have posted the pic of "get to the choppa" and there was only one person that made sense, I'm going to assume that the ork went for the rokkit launcha.

You rush for the launcha, but for some reason EVERYONE STARTS FIRING AT YOU! You immediatly fall on the ground, get up and see that you have no wonds whatsoever. It seems that imperial lasguns are so weak that they can't do s*** to scrap metal. You laugh, the orks laugh, the space marines laugh and the imperial guard gets angry. You grab the rokkit launcha and you shoot at the BAENBLEEEEHD (sorry I had to do it). Unfortunately, the third rokkit explodes on the launcha and you get your arms blown off and you are knocked uncoscious. When you wake up, you see the wreck of the BAENBLEEEEHD, the remains of the titan's arms, half of the guardsmen you saw still inside the fort and the remaining few orks fighting each other. A mek and a mad dok run away from all the fight and madness. You:

A) Sneak into the jungle
B) Sneak up on a slugga
C) Sneak up on a shoota
D) Run along with the mekboy and the mad dok for surgery and robotic arms
E) Attempt to sneak inside the fort
F) Wait a little longer
G) Look for a warboss
H) Eat the corpse of a guardsman
I) Eat the corpse of a space marine
J) Eat the corpse of an ork

[iSuck345]

And I request that when a person posts, he or she posts what the ork should do instead of posting random pics (that goes for you too Blxz).

[Blxz]

The ork should have got a choppa. A really big choppa. Not a shoota. No real ork uses shooters. I used pictures to convey my choice....

[toaster Assassin]

E. Sneak inside the fort.

No one will expect an armless ork to infiltrate the fort. I will have the element of surprise!

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